You Can't Imagine How Much Fun I'm Having

I've been busy. Life's tough.

First, I take my day off on MLKJ Day to check out a supposed Gateway Trail in St. Paul. It's supposed to run from St Paul to Stillwater, MN, and so would be an ideal first leg of an eventual trip all the way to my girlfriend's mom's house in Menomonie, WI. (That's about 90 miles altogether.)

So, I found the trail alright and start up it. Although I was pretty toasty for a while, I start to get really cold after a while. I mean numb-cold. And I understand what the directeur sportif of my racing team meant when he said "Never ever second-guess the windproof boxers."

But I press on, thinking of how awesome it would be to ride to Stillwater and back. Fortunately, about halfway there I find that the remainder of the trail is unplowed. Ice is no problem for me, and I had cheerfully navigated several 100 yard stretches of it on the way there. But 3 inches of snow is where I draw the line. So I turned around.

All the way back I was thinking about how I shoulda stopped at this Burger King I saw, just to get a coffee or something and warm up. I am cold cold cold. Jack London cold. Near where the trail started, I spy a Wendy's a give in. I traverse the dirty Kmart parking lot to Wendy's, lean my bike outside next to a window where I can keep an eye on it, and order a buttload of greasy beef.

Even though I have a lot of trouble getting my wallet open and getting out money, and it takes me a long time to be able to successfully pick up fries, after a half hour or so, the stinging has pretty much subsided. But I'm still crazy cold and I gotta pee, so I clickety clack in my cycling cleats to the bathroom, where I enjoy four consecutive hand-dryer cycles.

As I leave the bathroom, this other guy in a red puffy jacket and cornrows is coming in. Good thing I didn't keep him held up with the drying, cuz it's a single-seater. When I get back to my seat, I realize I don't have my wallet. So I head back, hoping that guy hasn't left yet. He's just coming out as I'm going in, and he points at my now-open wallet on the ground, along with one of my bunched-up gloves.

So I'm really relieved, and when I start going through it, I notice everything's there--except the cash. So I go up to the guy, who is now ordering stuff at the counter, and ask if he noticed any cash inside. He says, "Didn't even pick it up, man." Which is obviously a lie, because I explicitly remember putting about twenty bucks or so in there. And at least the change from my meal.

So I step outside, about to call the po-po's on my cell, because I'm that pissed off. I'm *not* walking away without my cash. This is where I find that my cell service has been discontinued. I'll get back to that story in a while, but let me just say here that it's not my fault that my phone bill didn't get paid, because I have never received one since I've moved, despite several calls to demand a bill.

So, whatever. I say fuck it, let's just finish get outta here and finish this hellish ride. That's when I learn my back tire is flat. It apparently picked up a stray shard of glass when crossing the parking lot. And I'm about 12-15 miles from home. No bus fare, no way to call my girlfriend, no way for her to get to me even if I could.

So I start walking. Last time I popped my tire, I took off my shoes and walked in my socks. That was about two miles, but I swore it'd never happen again. That I'd take a spare tire and tube with me on every ride from then on. But I forgot about it.

This time it was too cold to be walking in bike cleats, let alone socks. And sustained walking in bike cleats is sure to break them in a hurry. So I limp home standing up, in my highest gear, trying to put as little pressure on the back wheel as possible. Excruciatingly slow. Three hours and two ruined wrists later, I finally roll around the corner back onto my street.

Turning the corner, I spot out of the corner of my eye a small patch of leather on the street. It's a... wallet! Huh! So I grab it and move on home, where I dissect the contents. It turns out to be pretty anonymous as wallets go. The driver's license is Wisconsonian, so the address is no good. There's a card for free entry to a "Gentlemen's Club" (sure to host several "gentlemen", I'm sure), and a few business cards. One has the same last name as the guy on the driver's license, so I shoot that guy an e-mail. And I throw a post out on Craigslist's lost-and-found section. (I get a response from this later, after the wallet is returned.)

Then it occurs to me to go back and put a post-it on the car nearest the spot where I found it, or the closest one with Wisconsin plates. They turn out to be the same, and thirty minutes later my girlfriend gets home and I get an e-mail from the guy who found my note.

Now, there's well over fifty bucks in this thing. I'm out about twenty from my prior experience, and it occurs to me this guy might not have the presence of mind to offer a reward. (None is mentioned in his e-mail.) Should I return it with all the money, or should I pre-emptively charge a $20 finder's fee and be prepared to refuse any reward?

Well, after about 90 seconds thinking, it's clear that you just gotta do the best you can and let the chips fall. If people don't decide to do the right thing, it's none of your business to force them. So I have the guy wait out at the corner and return it with the full amount. I have him check to make sure it's all there. He's grateful, but not in monetary terms. Bummer.

Next, I call T-Mobile about this bogus disconnection. The story is that I switched the billing to me, as well as the billing address, when I moved in October. I found out later, online and on my phone, that I was charged $50 one month--wayyy too much, since I'm on the minimum plan. I've hassled them for weeks about getting a paper bill so that I can see what all the jibba-jabba's about with this bogus charge, and still haven't gotten one. Having not gotten a bill, I don't feel obligated to pay it.

Anyway, I find out that those bills have late fees on them too now, and my having paid the most recent month as a sign of goodwill apparently constituted a "repayment plan", which they say fell through. I do remember saying I'd pay the whole thing when I got the bill, but I didn't get it. So they're the ones who fell through on the plan, not me.

Anyway, long story short, turned out I was still in the contract, which was renewed when my mom bought me a new phone to replace the one she put through the laundry. But, here's the trick, they add days for every day I stay disconnected. So I can't avoid the reconnection fee of $20 (that's what really pisses me off, more than anything). I either reconnect to finish the contract, or I pay the $200 fee to get out of it.

I really hate T-Mobile. I still like their cycling team, I guess, but T-Mobile is the devil. So is US Cellular, based on the trials of this guy who uses the work phone to haggle with them sometimes. So starting at the beginning of February, I'm gonna be phoneless. I'm sick of this crap.

Later that week, I find out that next Friday (now this Friday) is my last day of work at this site. So I'm jobless for an indeterminate period. So that blows.

Also, I had to repair my car's exhaust for $308. I hate cars sooooo much.

Also, I broke my bike today. Last night I tightened the chain by dangling it from the ceiling by the back wheel and a shoelace, so that the whole bike weight was on the chain. Worked really well.

Except that I forgot to completely tighten down the nuts holding the back wheel on. So when I'm sliding down a icy sidewalk in my shortcut through a park on my morning commute today, I felt a sudden jump in the back and then the back wheel completely stopped. Getting off, I saw that the nut on the same side as the gears and chain had popped completely off, jamming the wheel into the stays on the other side. The whole wheel looked like a big Pringle.

So, I'm still not sure if that's fixable or not, but it doesn't look good for my baby. This bike and I have been everywhere, in all kinds of awful epic rides, and I've spent hundreds keeping it alive. It would be a Major Major bummer if this was the end of it. It's like a beloved pet getting hit by a car.

So, that's my week. Things can pretty much only get better from here.
[AWWW sign flashes for studio audience.]

Take That, Ramsey Hill

..sort of. On a tip from a random MySpace acquaintance, I finally managed to find Ramsey Hill, supposedly the biggest paved drop in these parts. So I went over there on my lunch break yesterday on my old Luge Rouge, recently converted to fixed gear. I found it, eased my way down (there's a stop light at the bottom) and chugged back up. Verdict: it's short, but crazy steep. I gotta get some photos of the houses lining it to show you how far off horizontal it is.

Anyway, on the way back, I got really really lost. Going over my lunch break by at least an hour. But it was about 45 degrees out, so really a nice ride all around though more epic than anticipated.

Me and the ladyfriend went out to Figlio's last night. It was really really really good. Best italian food i've ever had, for sure. Probably best food ever. And almost the most expensive.

So I did some looking into the China thing, and here's what I got:
http://www.newint.org/issue195/drive.htm
http://www.zzapp.org/rileygea/tortoise/ch_bikes.htm
http://www.thebeijingguide.com/bicycle_beijing/bicycle_beijing.html
http://homepage.mac.com/johngoodman/Pages/Bikes/bikes.html
http://www.nap.edu/books/030908492X/html/R1.html
http://www.imperialtours.net/bicycle.htm
http://www.workingbikes.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=16

It seems to be pretty simple though--as the Chinese economy switches to capitalism, demand is increasing for all things Western. (If it's not Western, it's CRAP!) Cell phones, bottled water, and private automobiles are all big now.

Of course, in the US, we're pretty much over the whole car thing, with its sprawl and traffic jams and whatnot. But we've built our infrastructure around cars, so we don't have much choice. It seems like the Chinese haven't caught on to that subtlety yet, though.

I think maybe that's a common thing for second-world societies, to always be a decade behind the US in cultural terms. I imagine Space Jam is really big right now in Eastern Europe, just like in the 90s they were all wearing denim and listening to synthesizer dance pop.

Anyway, I can't think of an easy solution for it. Chinese government officials are apparently really big on the motorized thing now, and have banned bikes from 50-some roads in Shanghai. It's supposed to be so that Shanghai looks more modern, like China's model city. But really, what would be way more impressive is if they managed to make an emissions-free city, and built with "smart" or "green" development principles. That'd be a step ahead of the West, and thus even cooler. Instead of playing catch-up, they could be playing leapfrog.

They could even sign on to stiffer requirements for them than the Kyoto protocol requires, which would remove one of the US's big problems with it and boost their international prestige big time.

Instead, you get really embarrassing shtuff like rivers so polluted that major cities have water cut off for weeks. Not gonna win too many Olympic bids like that.

Mpls sunshine

So know you're probably wondering how my lunchtime ride went. (That's funny because really, nobody cares. Part of what makes blogs so wonderfully self-absorbed. We get to pretend like someone cares.)

Well, I emailed up my sweetie and we went to lunch at the Baja Sol on the ground floor of her office building downtown. Good place--not cheap, but you get a lot of food, and unlimited chips and a salsa bar. And lime wedges. So, my chicken chow mein proposed that next time we split an entree. Thus scoring on the unlimited refills of soda and chips, but skipping on the high prices. Ahhh, she's so conniving. *dreamy sigh*

The ride there and back was nice, though. Cold air temperature, but the sunshine made it seem warmer.

I think from now on I'm only gonna include personal anecdotes if they're really amazing. Otherwise, it's gonna be all news and commentary. So... lemme think of something...

Alright--For those of us who commute on bike, we often wonder what a society would be like without cars, where most people bike. And it's occured to me that in China, it used to be that bicycle was the main mode of transport. But it turns out that auto sales there are really picking up, which is depressing for us. (Even motorists should be bummed about that, because it's a major factor in rising gas prices.)

Why would a bike utopia want to voluntarily adopt the scourge of American city planning, the automobile? It makes me wonder what life was like in Chinese cities when most people rode bikes, and how it's changing now.

I'm gonna do some research and get back to you on that. If you have ideas about why the hell Chinese are buying cars, lemme know.

man, i am so excited about today. it's supposed to get up to 40 degrees. which means today's lunch time bike ride will be really kickass.

i've got 4 grad schools down: unc, illinois, boston u, and indiana. still to go: arizona st, wash u st.l, notre dame, and purdue. and purdue's not due til feb 15, so really just 3 more to go by jan 15. not bad, but the app. fees are gonna hurt.

my new favorite pastime: video.google.com. their "most popular" section is pretty neat. yesterday i saw this russian guy flipping over 20 foot walls. today i saw a japanese guy with 20 water rockets taped to his back fly spinning about 30 feet in the air, crashing into some kind of harbor. so, yeah, diggit.

also, dig this: the best reason to get a fixed-gear bike

okay back to work.

Blog... Arise!!

Okay, now that I have a job that requires very little effort and involves sitting in front of a 'pooter for long periods, I guess it's time to revive my dormant blog.

Maybe "revive" isn't the word. I got this blog so that I could put smart-ass comments on my friend Jenni's blog, before she allowed anonymous posting.

Besides, it seems to be required for winter commuters in Minneapolis. They are too modest to show off how tough they are to coworkers or family, and need an outlet for complaining about weather and motorists to someone anonymous. So for me, that's you now.

Other than the recapitulation of my daily cycling adventures, you also get a sneak peek into my rambled musings on current events, politics, etc. I'll also post the mundane trivialities of my life, which probably aren't interesting to you, but are to me. And that's who this blog is for.

The only thing I on't be posting are things that reveal my Clark Kent/Peter Parker/Bruce Wayne, and things that could be potentially embarrassing/actionable in the wrong hands. So take that, suckas.

Okay, I'm gonna go add some links and fix this place up so I can use it like a homepage.